Are you finding that your son or daughter is being a little more isolated, non-cooperative and maybe even lashing out on you or siblings?
If you are finding a hard time with your teenager, read on. I want to give you some options to help alleviate some stress/overwhelm in your home.
Do you remember what it was like being a teenager… oh my goodness do I ever!
Do you remember what it was like going back to school every year even if its in the same school.
Do you recall ever feeling out of place, I’m sure you can feel as an adult a little bit of insecurity with yourself even.
These are just a few thoughts that might be running through your child’s head as school is starting to approach again.
The emotions that can be running could range from sad to even angry!
It is essential for a parent or guardian to have some communication skills in your toolbox to continue a healthy relationship. This also can alleviate some of you as a parent’s stress and anxiety because you are able to effectively talk WITH your child.
Think about when you have a problem or issue how easy is it for you to talk about them with others, now insert teenager fear language that might look a lot like “I can figure it out myself”
Here are some tips and language you can use to support your child when you know “something is off” with them.
- How are you feeling today
- Where is your body do you feel that thought
- Have you ever felt this way before now
- Is there anything you need from me
- Just listen (no advice, no opinions)
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings
- So are you feeling sad/mad/uneasy today
- Use the child’s language to conversate back to them
- Try to understand your childs view in the world – meaning refrain from “when I was your age”….. 9 times out of 10 that is an automatic turn off
- Remember this is not a “issue” you are going to solve, you are the person that is collective information to help them more.
With these tips and language you are being the person of support not the fixer of the feeling/thought or issue/problem. Although sometimes we don’t believe children have issues but in reality they do and many times do not know what to do with them. This is where you come in… supportive/helpful individual that I love and trust. Now, which I am sure you can assume that if you are effectively communicating with them, they will be more likely to come to you with more and more without having to prompt them.
I hope these are helpful to you and found them to be beneficial to add to your parental toolbox. If you have any others that have helped you be supportive please share.